Are there any recovered MLC'ers out there who can give me advice on this? With D-day fast approaching I'm confused about what to do. I had shifted my approach with WAH to a somewhat gucci-esque beginning the second week of September and all the anniversaries (bomb and wedding). I have not initiated contact and taken several days to respond to H when he initiated contact.
I spent one evening with H, last thursday which was the evening he invited me to dinner to celebrate my birthday. H was out of sorts (see earlier posts) because of work stress. I thought, maybe his irritable mood was due to work stress but don't know for sure.
Fast forward to this evening. Saw H at health club. H walked right in front of me but didn't look at me (was eyeing college girls next to me). Wasn't certain whether to chat him up since that would be a break in the gucci strategy, but went with my gut. Wanted to ask H how his work glitch came out last friday (H went to dinner for 3 hours with me even though he was having work issues with his employees).
I went up to H and asked how things worked out on friday. H said last friday was one of the top 3 worst days ever at Company X and began listing the things that happened. I validated, said it sounded awful. H looked REALLY stressed. I have no way of knowing if his response is all due to work or if there are other things going on.
I thanked H for taking me to dinner and honoring his invitation even though he was so busy with unexpected problems last thursday. His look softened a bit, and he said "Of course I would. It was fun."
Me: "I sent you a thank you card for dinner". H: H's look immediately brightened (as if the thought of someone doing something nice for him was a welcome surprise). Me: "It's a very special thank you card." H: "Oh, it must be an audible card." Me: "No, but it's VERY special."
Over the weekend I made 2 homemade cards (1 thank you card and 1 Halloween card) for H using Photoshop on the computer and two photos of our cat and neighbor's cat wearing Halloween costumes (these pets are very special to H and me). I had the cards printed professionally. H should receive them tomorrow. Big break with gucci strategy. I guess H's reaction to this will provide important info about where his head is at.
After this exchange H's mood became stressed again. H said his sister is coming to visit in 1 week and wants to visit with me. H looked a little suspicious and nervous when saying this. I'm not certain why H's sister wants to visit with me. We were never very close. Very different lives. It will be interesting to see what she has to say.
I told H I am planning to visit his mother with cat in tow on Wednesday. H looked surprised and pleased. I said I will see her during the day since Wednesday is my day off. H frowned since I reminded him that my work hours have dramatically reduced.
So.........after journaling this my impression is that H is VERY stressed out for some reason. Jody has said to me many times "H needs a friend". I think that H's unfiltered responses seem to indicate that he really DOES need a friend right now and that little kindnesses will mean a lot to him.
Gentlemen, how do stressed out men want to be treated?
