LGLG (previous WAW New life with OM)

[ppenton]

PP - you are an inspiration to all those who are miserable and suffering on this forum!

I haven't read all of your sitch but the bits that I did (mostly at the beginning and the end) are just wonderful and shows how, with the effort to GAL, you can really embrace a new life! You really do seem to be enjoying your life and, whilst I am sure that you still miss WAW and would be happy for her coming home, I wonder if you would now have time! You are so into your detachment and I think that it's wonderful what you have achieved.

How have you found your strength and what have you done to shake your funk when finding the fog creeping over you, as no doubt it has? I just can't get going ... I'm so miserable and too tired to get out of my own way most of the times.

Would value your advice!

EN: When my W dropped the bomb I did all the typical LBS no-nos, I pleaded, begged, cried, pursued, snooped, etc. When I realized she was gone and leaving the house, I knew I had to get it together for my kids. So, I started IC about 3 weeks post bomb; started anti-depressants about a month post bomb; joined a Divorce/Separated support group about 6 wks post bomb; support from family/friends; found this site and read DR among many other books and went back to church. I think it was all these things plus my determination to get stronger each and everyday that has helped me to get to this point. The support group was a definite God send as I have made many new friends there. We are able to share are deepest fears and thoughts without anyone judging us or betraying our confidentiality. The woman who runs the program (thru a Catholic church) is a wonderful person who is very knowledgeable about pain and suffering.
I challenged myself this summer to read the Bible and I started on June 1 and finished around Sept 14 and it has made a huge difference in my life. I continue to pray everyday for God’s will and way for my life, in addition, I pray for my W’s heart to soften and for her to find happiness. Prayer has been most beneficial especially as I try to listen for the Lord.

I have been exercising (walking, lifting weights, bike riding) to help relieve stress and any anger which arises. When negative thoughts or fears creep in, I just try to block them out, distract myself or pray for some help to clear my head. I have also, jumped into work by taking on more assignments and responsibilities which helps to keep my mind occupied. I am blessed that I can spend time with family/friends who are nearby.
My brother’s wife just had a baby a month ago and it’s wonderful to have a new born around to hold and love. I do miss my W especially with this new addition which she has not met yet. My W has cut herself off from her family and friends; she just recently started talking with her mom. I do have my down days but not nearly as bad as they were last winter.
I hope this helps.
By letting go and letting God which I placed my W and our M at the foot of the cross is another reason I think I have detached as well as I have at this point