Newbie with almost WAW - Need Advice

[sandi2]

Hi, I join the others in saying "welcome to the community".

I read in another post that a womans's top need is affection and with OM in the picture, I just feel like I need to show something.

Don't know what post you read that on....but I can tell you that it is not a WAW's top need from her H. That is past! As far as the WAW is concerned....he lost his chance. (Now that is how she is feeling.....but doesn't mean it is true.)

Why do you feel like you need to show something? If you do, she will see it as pursuing! Don't show anything but self-confidence.

Detaching is all in the attitude. It is not being cold or acting mad and not talking. So many men don't get that. It is acting as if you will be fine with or without her in your life. That is detaching.

Don't know if you've seen it or would be interested, but I could give you a list of Do's & Don'ts for the LBS.

She does not want MC and she doesn't want to read books on M or watch movies about M......she is through with M....in her mind. She feels as if she is emotionally divorced from you and now she has found a new person who makes her feel really special. He makes her feel good about herself. That is what it is all about....how he makes her feel. She thinks she has gone so long without any ego food that she is starved to death....and now OM is eagerly feeding her. Your job is to outshine the OM and for her to finally see that you are the better man. That will take time and much, much patient from you. You will have to ask yourself if she is worth the work and the wait. Is she?

If so, then dig in your heels and get to work. She is already convinced that your changes won't last (does that mean you've discussed them with her?). Prove her wrong and decide that these changes are NOT to win her back...but to make you a better man in the future regardless of the outcome of the M.