Recovering yourself from all this

[25yearsmlc]

glad you mention the mother daughter thing b/c it's REAL...and don't forget the issues you've had with your d's too. Not to dig in here, but I don't have amnesia Frank, so you can't expect me to let it pass without mentioning that you've shared some things with me that indicate all is NOT well with your Rs with them and the big flare ups don't fade that fast....in short, they have their problems with you as well.

AND Teens are wonderful at manipulating parents, particularly when the parents are divided. You have no idea what they've told your stbxw but don't forget, she knew about the drinking b/c a d told her...and asked her to come home to protect THEM from you....look, like I said, I'm not rubbing salt in the wound, but reminding you of some other realities....it's all too easy to point out the deficits they mention to you about their mother, or your spin on it, and your microscopic analysis. I would not even ask your d why she doesn't want to go home. She has to go, so get her going. Otherwise the "contest" will be forever, and you will not always win...no parent can. Try to stay united or at least not partake of the tearing down. Insist they refer to their mother with respect, and leave it at that. IF THEY bring up problems, steer them towards solutions, and don't gloat or congratulate yourself. It's too competitive and it is not healthy for THEM...it's destructive. Their mother is their female role model; for better or for worse. You must put a positive
spin on what you can...

Try to keep in mind the main thing--They love you both and you both love them, and remember your gratitude that they are in your life. But for your wife, you would not have these ladies in your world.

Keep dropping the scorecard. As you live "in the now" and go forward, it'll be easier.
j-