Fighting-you can do your very best fighting for you by not fighting at all!
Stay calm. Do everything you need to do to get that calm. Make relaxation time for you a part of your everyday routine. YOU have to be your first priority-before kids, business, your Mum, so down tools and give you that time.
Be good to you. Doesn`t have to cost the earth. Bubble bath. Wear only your best clothes. Spray perfume.
Especially do anything you H has not seen you do before. Change your breakfast and where you eat it for example.Loll about and read the paper for a while.
Hook up with your friends, especially ones who know nothing of your sitch it`ll help keep your mind of your troubles.
Be mindful that you do have other troubles too that are weighing on you. Release yourself from fretting too much about those.
Put up boundaries. Fingers in ears/leave the room (calmly and smiling!) if H starts to insult. Don`t always jump to the phone if its your Mum coming on to whine.Leave your business behind in the evenings and don`t take it home in your head either.
Sorry for my bossy tone! Just some things I wish I`d learnt earlier!
Be glad that your H still wants an intimate relationship.Be glad of his praise then.
He`s obviously struggling with family of origin issues and you`re coming from your own pain too. Yes, I think that counseeling suggestion above-just for you-is a good one. You H may not be open to that right now.
Try not to let his mood govern yours(yeah, toughest bit!)
Fighting-you can do your very best fighting for you by not fighting at all!
Stay calm. Do everything you need to do to get that calm. Make relaxation time for you a part of your everyday routine. YOU have to be your first priority-before kids, business, your Mum, so down tools and give you that time.
Be good to you. Doesn`t have to cost the earth. Bubble bath. Wear only your best clothes. Spray perfume.
Especially do anything you H has not seen you do before. Change your breakfast and where you eat it for example.Loll about and read the paper for a while.
Hook up with your friends, especially ones who know nothing of your sitch it`ll help keep your mind of your troubles.
Be mindful that you do have other troubles too that are weighing on you. Release yourself from fretting too much about those.
Put up boundaries. Fingers in ears/leave the room (calmly and smiling!) if H starts to insult. Don`t always jump to the phone if its your Mum coming on to whine.Leave your business behind in the evenings and don`t take it home in your head either.
Sorry for my bossy tone! Just some things I wish I`d learnt earlier!
Be glad that your H still wants an intimate relationship.Be glad of his praise then.
He`s obviously struggling with family of origin issues and you`re coming from your own pain too. Yes, I think that counseeling suggestion above-just for you-is a good one. You H may not be open to that right now.
Try not to let his mood govern yours(yeah, toughest bit!)
nc~ thanks for your post. I will most definately admit that im not the easiest person to live with sometimes, i am extremely stubborn, but If I am wrong I have no problem admitting it, h on the other hand just can't do it.
Fallgirl- Thanks for your words. Everything your saying is very true, its doing them that is hard. I guess when you have little ones at home, you get swallowed up in their lives and what I have to do for them, that we tend to forget what makes us happy. Don't get me wrong, I would do anything for my children, and they make me happy more than anyone in this world, but between H and caring for them and the house and business, it takes its toll on me. H just doesnt care plain and simple.
Journaling~
We did have a pretty decent wkend. Went apple picking sat. and then sunday a parade. Had some drama with my mother, again, I don't know why that woman has no problem hurting me and in turn defends my younger sister to the hilt! On top of which my sister is incredibly selfish and demanding, while I am always there for both my parents.. more bs I don't need to deal with.
h is working today, but tomorrow he will be off.. worked a lot today, mondays are so busy for me. S6 didn't feel good last night and ended up sleeping with us.. that means no sleep for me... im beat.
Will post more later if I can.
Thanks guys.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I will most definately admit that im not the easiest person to live with sometimes, i am extremely stubborn, but If I am wrong I have no problem admitting it, h on the other hand just can't do it.
I actually meant this in respect to your H, but yes, each and everyone of us can be difficult to get along with. We're all just mere humans afterall, and no two people can see eye-to-eye indefinitely. Admitting those differences and working around them or through them is both realistic and a sign of maturity. Too bad that is no where as simple as I make it sound however.
nc.. Oh I know you meant it for him, I just wanted to state that I am no angel, and I don't expect things to be perfect, as some of my casual friends think life should be, its just not realistic.
The air is thicker than soup today, my head is pounding and I have too much work to do today.
H is working which wasn't supposed to be, but thankful. He will be off tomorrow though and probably the rest of the week.
Open house for S6 tonight... should be interesting... S6 came home yesterday (over the wkend he cut open his foot on a piece of metal) and told me that the teacher wouldn't let him go to the nurse when he told her that it hurt and the bandage was falling off. I was fit to be tied. This is perm. sub until January, which I don't like either because they are still young and will have to "get to know" another teacher all over again.
So I wrote her an email letting her tell me her side, come to find out she lied. She said she took him down at lunch time and had the nurse look at him. I had called the nurse earlier in the day to have him come down to check on the cut. So I called the nurse and she said, no the teacher didn't voluntarily come down with S6, that she called him down at lunch time. and S6 said that he told her teacher in the morning during work time that his foot hurt him. UGGGG... Don't like liars people!!! So I politely told her what S6 said and that I didn't want their to be another issue like this if he wants to go to the nurses office.
UGH!... He misses his Kindergarden teacher so much.. she was so great.. I don't know about this one, we will see how she is with me tonight. I know sometimes I get over protective of my kids, but he's only 6 and the cut was real deep and about 1 inch long.
Ok, as long as know that if they put me in jail, you guys will bail me out!! LOL
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Jak & Yoyo... thanks for checking up on me. Things have been up and down as usual.
I had a bad week last week with h. He can be just unbearable. I don't know. He's gone right now, due home probably late tonight or in the morning. Same old same old.
Took the kids pumpkin picking on Sunday and we had a good time. He left yesterday, and of course on the way to the farm all those bad horrible feelings crept up on me.
I don't always like to post everytime something happens because its the same old chit.
This wkend is S6 birthday party. Should be a good distraction, and then sunday is my gf's sons party. October is a full month for us, so im hoping that's actually a good thing for me.
I've been so tired, and I think its nerves and stress. The boys are ok, had a sleepover this past wkend. They are my light.
jak - Tomorrow will be a crazy day for me, I have two bids to get out, Wed. haircut.. so I will try and get you On thursday. Hope all is good with you.
yoyo... hope all is going well at school, and hope you and Mr. A are doing ok
Thanks all.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
