HA Holm if I may kindly jump in... I have come to the realization that (like you said HA Holm ) My wife kept giving and giving for a long time and became burnt out and is emotionally divorced from me. I have two daughters 3 and 7. My wife went to her parents and told them she has been unhappy with her marriage and wanted out. I was the second to know what her plan was. It was shocked to say the least and I have so much respect for her parents it brought me to my knees. We went to two cancelling appointments and both times she made it clear she did not want to spend the rest of her life with me and we never going back. The councilor was completely on hundred percent on her side and they both chopped me up into small pieces. I admitted (everything )being controlling nit picky and moody at times. Now I understand the issues and I am more than willing to make the necessary changes. She had kept all of her emotion bottled up inside of her for more than 5 years and I could do whatever I wanted and she would not ever say a word like it or not. She never shed a tear and was and is as solid as a rock. WAW to a tee she has it all planned out. We both have lawyers and are finalizing our legal separation and the house is on the market to be sold. I have been sleeping and living downstairs for the past 6 months. We are amicable towards each other we continue the everyday routine of dinners bath time reading etc with the girls. Once the girls go to bed I make my way downstairs and read or watch TV. I have been detaching for the past 5 months doing 180’s doing more than my share with all the household chores. Helping around the house and dealing with the girls was never an issue, it was the controlling belittling and nagging that got me to where I am today. I showed her no respect and that alone was a huge deal breaker. I admit I did all of the pleading begging and now I have “ let the rope go” I do not check up on her I go out with my friends on weekends and give her all the space she needs. I forgot to mention my oldest daughter is seven and my wife and I have not gone out on a date just the two of use in seven years, yep I do not tell a lie. All my focus and energy was on my girls big mistake. I do realize that we need to separate and she is a completely different person now she has walked away emotionally. My wife has always had low self esteem which I would at times pray on. My comments on certain Saturday nights after a few beers would be off the cuff (not meaning harm) but would crush her emotionally. I have been and still am in an anger management group class because I have an great ability to heart with words and sometimes I do not know how strong and powerful they can be. My wife asks me often how my appointments are coming and I am more than willing to share my experiences with her. The roller coaster ride is endless but even though the house is empty of all our personal belongings and we will be moving on sharing the girls 50 / 50 who really knows where we will end up. I work on myself and pursue here in no way. Do I love her… maybe maybe not. Does’ my wife love me maybe maybe not… but we are at the point where serious time apart is needed for mental health. I can only say our girls will be paying the ultimate price on whatever happens. One thing is clear, no matter what, life will never be the same again. I wish for patents …. Patents….. patents forgiveness and mental strength for my whole family. Stitch
