Hope is the thing with feathers....

[Bridgestone]

Hi Tim,
Thanks for stopping by & your well wishes.. things are going pretty good overall.

Having a down last few days... not sure what it is. Have been fielding phone calls from the StBX. I guess he's trying to put the demons to rest & I can't say that I blame him.. there are a lot of them in here some nights.

My job is going well, I've been asked to apply for a permanent position, as opposed to the 3-year term one I have. I'm making friends, enjoying city-life and the International STudent that is staying in my home with me.

I miss my daughter & the daily interactions about her day. She sang the national anthem at the high school volleyball tournament the other day ... I got to see it via a youtube upload, but.. just not the same.

I'm staying busy.. volunteering at the local dog shelter, working out at the gym with a personal traniner, I have dropped 2 dress sizes & almost 10" in since the middle of July, working on professional opportunities that seem to fall into my lap when I'm not looking, I'm part of 3 different meetup.com groups and attend those pretty regularly... so GAL isn't a problem.

I think I'm grieving the loss of hope that changes could happen that would make a difference for both of us in a healthy way.

It would be easy to let the negativity & bitterness of the last interaction carry me into mean, hurtful choices & words. It takes energy and strength to remain compassionate and in the moment. Sadly, right now I'm needing some replacement into my bucket & with no family close by or those type of close friends yet... I'm struggling.

I'm going back to my parents this week for a professional conference that is near by & to spend the week-end with my daughter. I'm hoping that will help.

I'm not sure how to handle seeing the StBX.. as the arrangement for me to be with her (I could come & go from his house as I pleased) we had before this last incident is just not going to work for me & my sense of safety now. That has me really sad & anxious.

We go see a lawyer on Monday to see how he would handle this mediation process & options for the business separation, finances, etc... fun times.

Peace
Bridge