Was there a sale at Home Depot for shovels? That is the only reason I can see for digging the hole you are digging. You need to stop communicating with your wife. She isn't asking for it and you are making things worse. You are trying to be nice, but the overtone of the email spews control to me.
You also need to let the counselor thing die. You can't change the past, what is done is done. Being angry at the counselor's at this point is doing nothing for you...well a little something...making you look like and angry and resentful person. When I failed out of college...I blamed the college, the weather, anything other than myself. I very wise man saw this and said to me "Look in the mirror and change things until you love what you see. Then don't rest on improving yourself. Ask your best friend what they see that needs improving. When you have done that...Don't rest...ask an older respected friend what they see....and when you have achieved the improvements that all three noted to be made...then judge others. The thing you will find...is when you have achieved all three...is that you won't feel the need to judge anybody, because you will realize there is only one judge of a person...and that is himself!" That was from a very wise man that I hold in very high regard!
