Wife walked away

[TooLateForMe]

I understand your pain. However you have to acknowledge that your W is unhappy and that unless it's biochemical (depression, etc) she has reasons for what she feels. Reasons that you have played some part in. My wife was a giver who thought she had to earn love. That wore her out and I let her do that, encouraged that behavior until she could take no more. She was burned-out and empty. So now I have a long road ahead of me, being the giver, showing unconditional love and acceptance.

You don't seem to understand what was making her unhappy. Affairs aren't the bigger issue. People reach breaking points after years of dealing with specific problems. Often they stuff their feelings down until they burst out. If you haven't read one or both DB or DR, do.

It's hard, but ultimately you will have to let go. Your W is a person who arrived at her decision for a reason. You can't control her and if you could it would make it worse. People will tell you to work on you because that's all you can work on. Don't push her, show remorse or show anger. You don't have to accept it, but you should accept her and her feelings even if you don't understand or agree with them.

Hope that helps. It's a hard road and it's uphill. But this place will help you through the tough spots.