That's great perspective. And while I know that's what my W goes thrugh, it is not often I take the time to stop and think of that. All I hear is what I did wrong when I was just trying to help.
To GIMA and the other men out there, it occurs to me after seeing Mishka's reply that these household tasks are a pretty simple but easy way to score points with the woman in your life. Would you men out there please be willing to share with us women what YOUR equivalent to these small, but thoughtful gestures is (share here or on my thread (www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads...rue#Post1849795)). What small, simple gestures speak volumes to you that a woman cares?????
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
In honor of learning about LL's day (thanks Thinker), I did something for my W. I think my W's primary LL is actos of service.
W has a cold/sinus thing going. Her voice is scratchy and her throat is irritated. Just a while ago, she mentioned she was going to heat up some water and put honey and lemon in it. She is doing some work on her laptop.
So, rather than let her do it, I eased over to the kitchen and made the hot water, honey and lemon. I set it down next to her and she asked, "What is this?" I told her "Hot water, honey and lemon." She said thanks.
She's was talking to me a bit before, but is really talking to me despite her raspy voice. I think she appreciated it.
Got home late tonight from the office. BUSY, but good. Emailed W late afternoon to let her know I would be late. Wouldn't have done that early on, but since we seem to be in a different place now, I thought this was the right thing to do.
Looking forward to our Disney trip this weekend. W is looking at film clips of EPCOT on youtube.
Words of Affirmation: Express real, honest gratitude and appreciation for the things he does.
I have to say that one of the biggest things that pushes me away from my W is that she rarely expresses appreciation for all that I do around the house. I really do help out around the house on a daily basis and have done some serious remodeling projects that we could not have afforded to pay someone for and she almost never expresses appreciation. Words of affirmation go so far to make a man feel happy and needed!
You've probably been there before, but my favorite thing at Epcot is the ride Soarin'. you need to get tickets to it as soon as you enter, cuz the line is always long. We just did the Hollywood park this week. The Star Wars ride was great, as was the making of a movie with cars on the backlot. That was really exciting!
As to little things to do for a man: my husband loves it if I pick up his dry cleaning for him. However, when I forget to do it, the results are very bad!!
Hey sweetie.....just dropping by to see about you.
You did right by fixing your W some meds for her illness. If there is ever a time to show compassion in these cases, it would be when one is sick. Especially if the LL is acts of service! Good job.....and you didn't "over-kill".
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
When I read your recent posts describing the many small, thoughtful gestures you are making it sounds to me like the acts of someone who is courting another....and from your description of W's responses it sounds as though she is noticing. The way that you care for her really comes through in your posts. It almost sounds as though you're falling in love with her all over again. The difference is that THIS time you know a lot more about what is required to make a M work.
Your trip to Disney World has the potential to make a big impression on her. What little things can you do on this trip to make her stand up and take notice? I'm sure you've thought about this. A few suggestions from a woman's perspective are carrying her bags, opening doors, treating her to a pedicure or massage at the hotel's spa, finding ways to allow her to relax and ease into the day by relieving her of some of her normal morning responsibilities. If she is anything like me, bringing her a really good cup of coffee the first thing in the morning is heaven! These are just ideas and may or may not fly in your individual situation.
My grocery shopping and trip to the health club took longer than I'd hoped so I won't have time to look through all these great posts until tomorrow. Bummer.
If anyone out there is interested in football, the Vikings - Packers football game is on Monday Night Football in these parts. Pretty interesting watching Favre play against his old team. I'm not normally a football fan but in this case I have no choice.
