riding the big roller coaster...

[hopeinwaiting]

I have been peeking through the window of detachment but I never get close to the door. I can see how I want things to be but there's something blocking me each time I make a move. Is that where you are at too? I think that the 'block' is called love.

The block is actually fear. Don't you think? Love is allowing H to figure out his own mess without allowing my own personal interests to get in the way. At least I think the block for me is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being alone. Fear of giving my daughters the same unfortunate legacy I had growing up in a "broken" home.

GAL'ing definitely helps, if and when you can. Trouble is, you still have to come back to your home and face up to it. You still have to wake in the mornings with the bowling ball in your stomach and, try as I might, I can find no cure for that one.

Oh yeah, I have that bowling ball as well.

Thanks for the support. So sorry we are all here, but know that we will be "there" eventually : )