The adventure chronicles

[AFWAW]

GH31,
Sorry to hear about your predicament. Hope things get better for you soon. I don't envy you. Said a prayer for you today.

Well, I guess I'll update. Just got back from my cruise w/ my D and the wife is pulling out all the stops. She has begged and pleaded and promised me the moon and the stars if I'll just forgive her and let her move home.

Since I've emotionally detached I've had a lot of time to think. That mental image of my wife having sex w/ other men is disturbing. The worst part though are the lies that she told to cover it up and the cruel things she said to me.

So, why is this so hard? Anyone? Why the freak can't I let go all the way? I mean, I've had other offers. She is so desperate right now though. It's like watching a car wreck--it's hard to stop watching. I mean, I still love her and care about her but how would I ever get past this? And what about the horrible time that I went through? I mean, I don't want her to suffer that way but I'm not sure I feel sorry for her based on the fact that she made this decision.

Another thing is that my D absolutly despises her mother right now. She told my D that she had a BF at one point and that he was very good looking. How does a 13 year old process that? On the surface, it appears that my D has little to no respect for her mother.

Just venting right now really. I know this is my decision. On one hand, I want her back. We have a lot of history together. But I think I would always be thinking about where she is at and what she is doing. On top of that, I'm still human and probably would be vindictive and harsh at times where it wouldn't be warranted if she came home.

On the flip side, I've really started to enjoy myself regardless of where I'm at. I mean, I have a good time everywhere. At work, home, doctors office, dentist, you get the picture. I've embraced the philosophy that life is a party dammit and I'm going to have a good time. If I take her back there will be stressors of course that may take away from my new approach and I don't want that. It is amazing the attention I've recieved since I've started acting this way--simply amazing.

So, what to do? Tick, tock, tick, tock. Anyone care to comment?