Quick question. Why does it make her mad, or disgusted, especially after all this time (and especially after she told me she filed for divorce), for me to even mention to her that I am sad or hurt? She can't stand that! "Poor you", "woe is me", etc. I don't understand it?
If I imagine myself in her situation, I might be thinking something like, "Oh, so now you are hurt? Well, cry me a river, a**hole. You kept hurting me year after year and that didn't seem to matter to you. But now that you are hurt - am I supposed to care?"
Sorry to sound so harsh. Just trying to give you some insight.
Originally Posted By: antlers
Originally Posted By: Purple
If you contact her now . . . when she has told you not to contact her, this will just be seen as pursuing. If I was in her shoes it would seem like more of the same manipulation to get her back under your control.
How can she see the changes if we never spend any time together?
Purple is right. Respecting her wishes will be a change. She will notice that you are respecting her boundaries by leaving her alone.
