Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Kat, Mish, yes it does feel amazing... surreal even to be back to normal.

We had a big convo on holiday which I cant remember much of now, but he DID tell me that he wanted to come back sooner, but that he "couldnt face" it, as he knew he had to make it up to me.. and at that time, he could barely take care of himself (because of messing up so much and being depressed).. he said, he literally didnt care what happened to him for about a year, so although he wasnt deliberately suicidal, he was in effect, as he wasnt taking care of himself at all and didnt care about himself. He wasnt eating well, drinking heavily and felt crazy. But hey, we know that.

I told him that my Mum, BFF and Aunties (and I think K!) all told me, just tell him.. come home. Just come home.. but I felt I couldnt say that to him, he had to want to come back and then he sort of made a snort.. I said, wow, if I had of then, would you have? And I intuitively added.. if I had also said, its ok, come home, you dont have to make it up to me, we will just put it behind us for now.. he said, yes, maybe I would have (damn why didnt I say it then!!!)

He said...I just couldnt take care of myself and so couldnt face the thought of not only taking care of you too, but having to make it up to you on top of that. So there you go kids. Guess thats why the DB way says to minimise guilt and be super forgiving. You do need SOME encouragement though hey and at least he was giving that to me at the time.