Can I just tell him I've changed my mind about moving out?
YES. "I have changed my mind. I am not moving out"
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Leave it up to him to move out if he wants to?
You can not control him. You can state what you want and how you feel. "I would prefer you stay. I see many other options, but if moving out is what you prefer, I will not stand in your way."
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it wouldn't change anything really - he's just been sleeping elsewhere each night that he's off work.
You have full control of YOUR boundaries. If he is elsewhere getting his needs met, not much you can do. When he is home, you have full control of how you meet his needs. Become the woman any man would be a fool to leave.
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Will it drive him away if I try to tell him I'm not just agreeing to the separation?
Actions speak louder than words. He will do what he wants. DO NOT TRY TO CONTROL HIM. Work on you and DRAW him to you.
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I called him tonight. I said I was sorry. I said I know that he asked me for attention and I didn't give it to him. He said he appreciated me saying that. And it was a little different. He talked for a bit - about the kids and about the separation - but for the first time, he didn't seem in a rush to get off the phone.
NICE.
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So I feel like my next move is really important. I don't want to mess it up worse.
Every move thought, action and word is important. Always do you best. Commit to personal growth. Keep doing what works. Stop doing what does not work. Be very cognoscente of his reactions to your actions....
Just remember, everything will be OK whatever he chooses. Keep taking the high road. You have a great place for support and guidance here.
HUGS
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
