@Kettricken: thanks for posting that link to the Perel interview. As it happens, I picked up her book at the library this weekend and now I am even more eager to get started on it!
And Buttercup...I agree 100% with what you said...it's like you've been living in my brain!
@Gypsy: All of the above can be a concern, but it's still out of your control....Aside from that it's your opinion, something you disagree with.
Awwwww, crap. You're right. But g*ddam! 2 cartons of moldy tomatoes??? She f*cks up their lives with her stupid Bomb and now she can't even make the effort to have some food -- hell, some unhealthy sugary-sweet snacks?? -- in the house for them?
Keeee-rist. Makes me wanna blow out my own brains. Hey, anybody seen that .45 I had? Nuts, probably in the Black Hole that is the garage someplace.... Not that the thing's been cleaned in 20 years. Ain't that a b*tch? (j/k)
You offered to babysit, she didn't ask you. Are you still doing that? Offering before she learns to ask? Clamp your trap and sit on your hands, fella!
I was just so bloody excited that she had a shot at IC with Fab MC#2 and -- more to the point -- that Fab MC#2 cleverly sprang it on her, in the session, where if she was going to weasel out of it she would've had to do it in front of me -- something her pride would never let her do. So she's does that, well....I don't have a sitter, and.... So I jump in and volunteer. I was a paratrooper (@4:00 - 4:10) . We're like that.
Tell her your personal life is off limits. Tell yourself that in regards to her (and her appliances) and you.
@cbih: @Kettricken: thanks for posting that link to the Perel interview.
Yeah, I agree; that was huge. Of course, it opens up the question of how one goes beyond those Expectations, but enough analysis for now. (You're welcome, O'Dog....)
The She gave O'dog the Perel book about two years ago. O'dog agreed with much said. The She never read the book herself. It was one of those, "Here, read this. You fix it. It's all your problem." O'dog is still bitter about it.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
The She gave O'dog the Perel book about two years ago. O'dog agreed with much said. The She never read the book herself. It was one of those, "Here, read this. You fix it. It's all your problem." O'dog is still bitter about it.
Ouch! Sorry to hear that.
FWIW, I can't imagine giving my DH a book like that without reading it myself first...not to mention that if I hadn't read it, he likely would refuse. Before I would expect him to read anything, I'd want to be sure I liked what it said! Dangerous territory, that.
Refrigerator!!!! The alternate appliance applications didn't occur to me right away.
I can understand how you feel about the contents of her refrigerator and the message it sends to you. On the upside, she wants them in her life, unlike some spouses who leave. Kids need both parents.
When my former spouse left and chose to become a one hour a week (if that) dinner dad, I was shocked, upset and felt a further sense of betrayal. Blowing me off is one thing, blowing off your, my, our children is another. Guess what. I had no control over the amount of time (or lack thereof) he spent with the kids, it was all his choice.
And I had to change.
Big. Time.
It's all about boundaries, buddy.
Do what's healthy for your mind, body, spirit.
Let her go so she can figure out what she's supposed to learn.
As we continue to wind down the Saga of Smiley's Person, this bit of 1965 video more or less provides a neat visual summary of (@0:30 -->) the story of my separation and (presumably by December) divorce.
Today WAW returns from her sexcapades in European Capital and has courteously informed sources close to Smiley's Person that it was "glorious" and WAW Herself is "in love." The sex was even more amazing than was the sex with Signore, which had been, you will recall, the "most amazing sex" of her life up to that point.
On that item, recall too that she recently pointed out that she'd told me "a half a million times" that I was failing to satisfy her in the boo-doir, which, if you amortize it over the length of the M, means she told me about 70 times a day on average. Which seems like a lot for me not to pay attention to, but, um, you know how it is.
[Speaking of amortizing, still looking for some freelance corporate communications work....]
So one really has to be happy for her that, at this stage in life, she has found Troo Luv, since she so obviously bore a heavy, heavy cross indeed for all those years of connubial... what's the opposite of "bliss" ... with the man from the Circus. If they made a movie of the Saga, Richard Burton would probably star. Oh wait -- they did.
So there is a nice circularity to this, a nice kind of bookend-like closure to the Saga, which started with Signore and ends with Signore il Secondo.
I suppose at this point all that's left is the Q&A; the presentation has come to an end. So I'll open it up to the floor.
