Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[ClingingToHope]

Positive. She stopped running.

The next day she came to me, started an R discussion, and said that while she wasn't happy and didn't believe thing could get better, she didn't want to get divorced.

I put a call in today to a lawyer who handled my mother's estate -- my W and I had to run a retail store for six months together after my mom died while both working full time. It was stressful, but it was probably the best we've ever worked together.

He referred me to a female attorney who charges $275 for a consultation and a $3,000 retainer. I think I'll wait a month -- have apartment stuff to pay off -- before going to see her.

I truly don't think W realizes what she's getting into financially. She's starting to. When I moved out in May I left her $1,500 in cushion money and another $1,000 in savings. That money is all gone and the winter bills are coming and the bills are due on all the stuff she bought after I moved out -- a $2,000 swing set the girls don't use, new couches and rugs to replace what I took with when I moved.

She's told the girls how much they'll have to cut back. When they are with me, we mostly do the same things we always have because I save and plan ahead.

If we D, I think she's in for a rude awakening. I've been paying above what child support laws call for although it's not in writing. She outearns me by $8,000 so I could make a case for spousal support. I took out a 401(k) loan to pay off her car last year. I'm still making payments on mine. We gutted my IRA to fix up the basement after a flood so it is just $10,000. The lump sum payment in her pension plan is likely up to $50,000. Our 401(k)'s are the same. She ran up $15,000 in credit card debt and I've been paying on that all year. She'll have to take half of that as well.

The only thing I have in my favor is about $5,000 in savings and investments -- these are joint.

There's no equity in the house. Thanks to the flood we owe about what it's worth.

One of the major things I know I have going for me is I'm good with money. Unfortunately, I wasn't strong enough or smart enough to find a way to curb her spending habits in the M.

I know I'll be OK down the road. I don't think she will, but if that's the bridge she wants to cross, I won't stand in her way.