I am trying to get out more, but instead got in touch with an old friend (female) on face book and we met up at my house...
We had a 3hr heart to heart. We both confided in each other, and I must say that it did lighten the load a little. The WAW came round that night to pick up the kids and she was in dark mood, and no opportunity arose to tell her about my old friend coming around to talk. Well it transpired that the kids told her all about her. I knew that they would.
Next day me and the WAW meet up over school stuff - parents day -at the school. To everyone else she projected we were the perfect couple, but between us it was the opposite.
We go home, lots of small talk, but now we are in the company of the kids, s9 & s7, so still no time to talk.
When we were eventually alone to talk she asked straight out how was such & such (the old friend). And then she flew off on one. 'How dare you talk to her she's my friend' 'How dare you confide in her' 'She moved in quickly when she found out I was gone'
But the problem statement was 'why did I find out from the kids? It should have been from you'
It was with this last statement that the tears come flooding out of my WAW, and she kept saying that she'd done everything to get through to me and save the marriage' - classic WAW statement.
I back slid in the next hr and texted her with 'When was I supposed to tell you about ****, at the only time we were alone you asked straight out.'
No reply - but I expected this.
The next day she texted me twice - I have had no texts from my WAW for over a week. The texts were about the kids.
Now yesterday my old friend came around and we spoke some more, and as I had arranged to go to a firework display on this Saturday, my old friend asked if she could come if she was'nt working. I said yes and so did my boys with glee.
I have since texted my WAW to say - 'so you dont hear it from the boys first. ***** was here today, and my be going to see the fireworks on Saturday in ***********.' No reply.
Now my WAW has not spoken to me or the boys since 3pm on Friday, and will only next see the boys and me on Monday 7.30pm.
How can any woman go this long w/o speaking to her kids? I couldnt.
Does anyone have any experience in this sort of sitch.
I have followed the WAW 'rules' - no contact ect. There has been no change in 4 wks of her behavior. Could I have been going down a cheeseless tunnel?
This contact with and old friend, could it be the shake my WAW needs, or is it a step too far in the wrong direction. This contact with my old friend will not become a PA - neither of us is looking for this at all, we just enjoy each others company.
Up until those 2 texts I received in one day, my WAW has made no effort to contact me or the kids.
I truly can not believe how selfish my WAW has become. I also believe that she is riddled with guilt and shame at how she is treating me and my boys.
I am so angry, but also racked in apprehension because I have connected to an old friend and I have some serious self doubt if it was a good move in helping to reconcile our marriage.
Regards, Gyn
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
