Gotta Keep Trying 2

[Thinker]

To GIMA and the other men out there, it occurs to me after seeing Mishka's reply that these household tasks are a pretty simple but easy way to score points with the woman in your life. Would you men out there please be willing to share with us women what YOUR equivalent to these small, but thoughtful gestures is (share here or on my thread (www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads...rue#Post1849795)). What small, simple gestures speak volumes to you that a woman cares?????

We women really DO want to know!!!!!!

Thanks!

GAG

I would say that has to depend on one's Love Languages, but in that case I think many men are pretty similar. I'll answer that question based on my LL's.

- Physical Affection
- Words of Affirmation

(In THAT order!)

Physical Affection.
This is not Sex, although it is very related. I am attracted to a woman who wants to be with me. Who touches me BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO. Before the decline, my W would take my arm as we walked, or rub my shoulders after work, or sit on my lap after dinner, or kiss me - lots of things. What was important is that it was loving physical contact that she was happy and enthusiastic about.

If you really want to grab a man, be playful and have LOTS of fun having sex with him - really enjoy it.

Head over heels...

Note that apathetic physical contact ("begrudging shoulder rubs given only when asked, limp hugs that say you'd rather be somewhere else, "Well you'd better hurry up and get it over with before I fall asleep" sex) actively destroy love (and your H's self confidence).

Words of Affirmation:
Express real, honest gratitude and appreciation for the things he does. Even if you are thinking "So he goes to work and leaves me at home with the kids all day - so what!, does he get a medal for that?", learn to appreciate it and learn to express your appreciation. Same with doing chores around the house - make sure you TELL him you appreciate it. I know if my W tells me (sincerely) thank you for doing something, I want to run right out and do it twice more and twice as well.

Criticism ("You work too long!" "You didn't wipe down the counters well enough!") is a crushing love destroyer.

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So that's my input. It's probably not the answer you women wanted to hear. There aren't really little chore-type things that fill my love tank. I really do appreciate it (and say so) when my W fixes a great meal, or when she surprises me by mowing the lawn so I don't have to do it, etc, but these aren't going to make me fall head over heels in love.

Other men feel free to jump in here.