Divorced and want to reconcile...

[dday101798]

I'm thinking I shouldn't invite him to do things with me and our son, example, go to movie or pumpkin patch.. if we're planning to go? I've sort of done that a couple of times and he's been busy and all that's doing is making me feel let down mostly.

Sorry mar, been down ill the last few days.

NO, I'd keep casually inviting. I have never seen anything wrong with that as it should benefit your son, NOT you or XH. I continually invite XW to nostly Friday night dinners when I pick the boys up for my weekends. Because THEY want it, they really, really do. Even they at 11 and 12 say it would be theraputic for them just to have a 'family dinner', after all even though we're not married anymore, we are still mom and dad.

(and yes, I'll admit and have said, it would be theraputic for myself and XW to at least repair the basis of our friendship and promote the ability to co-parent more effectively, and maybe, just maybe somewhere down the line open up a possiblilty to have a fresh start)

XW has made excuse after excuse and then finally fessed up it would get her in deep with OM, I know, not the same, but I guess my point is if you continue to at least extend the offer, you'll either some day get a bite, or at least a valid expination as to why he feels it's not in his best interests at the moment. But at some point I would suggest just saying 'hey, I know I've put my personal feelings out there and it's not what you want right now, but doing something together every now and then would help our son out a lot'.

Bottom line, no matter what has or will happen between you and XH, there's still another person suffering the consequences here, got it?

And who knows, through that, then XH might warm up a bit, and then who knows?