Thank you for your lovely sentiments Cas. It's just always easier for me to help than be helped ... it's my nature - and my vocation in life. It's why I can't help myself and suffer so badly because of it. I help others, not the other way around, that's just the way it always has been for me to be me. That's why it's been so easy for H to walk away - he asked me to let him go if I loved him and so it was easier to bear my pain than to see his.
I fear that my fighting spirit has just given over to the dam bursting and over-flowing by the bucket full. Long overdue. I'm so glad that I see C tomorrow evening. I feel so empty here and crying alone ... I have tried to believe that I have new friends here but now that I need to talk to one of them, it's so easy to find a reason why I shouldn't call them ... and that's not friendship. The only one I would call is in work and excited about her citizenship ceremony tomorrow, so I shall just gather up the babies and do what I always do ... go to bed.
Tomorrow is another day, as Scarlett O'Hara once said.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
