Hey everyone, Rob, yes I am back !!! We had an AMAZING time in Greece, one of the best holidays I've ever had. It was just beautiful, really really hot and of course, it was fantastic to meet Maria at last, see where she lives and just hang out and chat, meet her family too, be silly and pull faces and giggle (and with her kids! ) and also, to eat loads of yummy Greek food (thanks M!). I was glad to meet her H at last, despite all he has done, because I am a curious person. And yes, sadly, we were terribly British and polite and DID shake his hand.
After a lovely few days at the house, we went off round the islands, which was brilliant and we had the best time. Santorini in particular is stunning, but it was a little crowded, so we went and sizzled on the beach at Naxos (a nudist beach!). We saw some funny sights, as Naturists tend to be over 60's!
We had a chat about M's H one night and she asked bf for his perspective. What he said was VERY interesting to me, he's touched on it once before in a chat before our holiday, but he actually admitted what I kept telling him before the bomb.. he feels that the fact her H's Mum died a few years back, plus other relatives soon after was very interesting and could be the trigger for his A and the S. He went onto explain that men dont deal with things, they say they do, or are, but they arent. In reality, men are weak and cant look at emotional things, so very much comparmentalise them and literally shut a door on it and go, I'm not looking at that, I cant deal with it and slam it. But that its not then dealt with and festers. He said he didnt deal with the death of his Dad, despite telling me he had and says to some extent he still hasnt dealt with it. He said it DOES have a catastrophic effect in some cases and makes you aware of your own mortality and like, is this it? and mumbled something about being aware of last chance, or time running out.. and then he trailed off. But I was sat listening to this in M's house, almost mouth open. Because this was EXACTLY what I was saying to him summer 2007 and he got angry and said "its NOTHING to do with the death of my Dad, dont bring my Dad into this, I just dont love you anymore.". But then like bf also said, hindsight is a wonderful thing and you can only see what was going on at the time, with the perspective of a few years.
We also had another big talk on the islands one night and he was very relaxed and open about it, which is a big difference to 2, 3, 4 or 5 months ago. Although our reconciliation was fast I agree, it has still taken him 5 months to be comfortable talking about some issues and he still isnt completely. More on that later though. Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
) and also, to eat loads of yummy Greek food (thanks M!). I was glad to meet her H at last, despite all he has done, because I am a curious person. And yes, sadly, we were terribly British and polite and DID shake his hand.
