W and I attended D8 dance presentation (not a great deal of conversation between us) but anyway the main point was D8 pass her Silver award for Latin & Ballroon and her Bronze award for Disco all with very good marks. But the big surprise for us was reserved for the end of the evening when D8 was announced as the most promising pupil in all of the classes, she’s not the best dancer but she is the most improved, most enthusiastic, most dedicated and a joy to teach. W and I stood there as proud parents, but (censored) me I could scream !!! I feel like the proudest dad in the world at this moment.
Rob, you're an inspiration to many as I hope to inspire some. In the long run we all inspire each other, that how we keep going through all of this.
K,
The little girl is a absolute diamond, I've told her she can doing anything, be anyone, just as long as she does the hard work work. she's listening to me, and it's paying off with her dancing, now we just need to work on her sums .
It’s been a while since I’ve posted although I have been on these boards everyday following one or two situations. A lot has happened since I last posted but I haven’t felt the need to come on here and tell all as I haven’t been actively been dbing or anything like that. If I were to summerise in a few of words where W and I were I would say “back to square one”.
For the last month or so W and I haven’t really been on good speaking terms , she took offence to something I said and things have been bad since then.
W main focus at the moment is FIL, he is being moved onto a new course of radiotherapy, details of which I don’t know as W refuses to discuss FIL condition with me because of the comment I made before. She said she wouldn’t discuss it with me and is sticking to her word.
Added to this W has a new situation to deal with, this situation was also one of my nightmare prediction of the future. "From MLC straight into the menopause".
W has been dealing with severe abdominal pains and other symptoms which she’s not been telling me about. At the weekend she phoned me from a drop in clinic but wouldn’t tell me over the phone why she was there. When she got home she told me that her abdominal pain had been diagnosed as enlarged fibroids in her womb. The doctors were going to treat them with a course of injections, one of the side effects is that it will likely bring on the change for her. If the injections don’t work then the next step would be to remove the large fibroid but as they are numerous smaller ones doctor are most likely to perform a hysterectermy. W is a bit depressed about this, yesterday I tried to make conversation about how she was feeling and offer sympathy, but she snapped at me that she didn’t want to discuss it. (although she did apologise later).
My situation is marginally better, I’ve put back on the weight I lost over the last few years and more, but visually you would just say I’ve put on a few pounds around the waist as I have still been doing the gym 2 – 3 times per week.
My ECG check showed all was ok, but the excess alcohol was probably out of my system by then so I know now that I need to kick that habit. The other habit I need to kick is the late night raids on the fridge for a comfort snack this is the source of my weight gain.
So I’m back in the gym every night working to get back in shape, W and I are slowly communication, but if I look at it, we have old cycles, old routines going on, if W doesn’t want to talk we don’t talk. When she comes round things get better. I used to think I was the problem but now I am convinced that I’m not.
Lanzo
PS: K, I do try to talk to W but if she gets into a mood there is no conversation be had.
I wonder if an excesss amount of hormones in your W are causing her to be so moody at times. Maybe the hysterectomy could be a good thing. My XW had the hysterectomy last year, but since I am not around her anymore, I cant confirm whether it has reduced her "bitchyness", but she sure seems nice everytime when she talks with me.
Where do you see your marriage heading? Do you envision a point where you both regain intimacy?
Do you feel you are walking on eggshells a lot?
Is there anything you can change that might cause change in your W?
Remember, focus on Lan and D8.
BTW... My D7 has recently started taking tap lessons and she seems to like it a lot.
Lately I’ve just been observing W and I definitely see 2 personalities, nice W and mean & bitchy W. At the moment I’m not reacting to either of them so there is no walking on eggshells for me just a kind of stability in the mood around the house. I think it’s a bit like dropping the rope and focusing on other things. I don’t think there is anything I can do to change W.
This week has been school holidays so D8 and I have been having fun, going to the cinema, swimming, D8 watching me play 5-a-side football, feeding the ducks at the local park etc so that’s been ok.
This weekend nice W ask if we could go out for a meal to which I just mumbled ok, then she added “oh but you have to pay” to which I raised an eybrow, then mean W snapped back “oh forget it, it was just an idea”. Normally I would have chased her to get things back on, but I just left it at that. I mean if she had just said lets go for a meal, we would be going for a meal on Saturday.
Next weekend I’m away for a guys only weekend so I’m looking forward to a break from home.
In terms on intimacy I’m not looking that far ahead anymore, in terms of where I see the marriage going I’ll borrow an answer from D8 to any difficult question “I have absolutely no idea”.
.