Summer 2009

[job]

How did things go today? I've been thinking about you all day.

[Between Tears]

WCW and Snodderly,

Today was hell, I couldn't even get myself started in any direction.... and now that it's after 5:00pm and haven't heard a word from anyone... I think I'll quit for the day and go to bed.

Thanks for caring and keeping me in your thoughts.... I do appreciate you and all that you do.

[Between Tears]

I still haven't heard anything official.....

I did have a dream last night, or more accurately, while I was sleeping, I heard my daughter's voice saying "Okay, it's time...... It's time to go home."

Yes, I realize it was all me, in my dreams or sleep, hearing what I needed to hear, but it did give me enough hope to get up and go to work and make it through another day.

One thing came to mind on the drive home from work.... Dick is teaching me what it is like to be him. Well, without the blame shifting. Everything he has done, he has been able to blame on me... has broadcasted it everyone in court, in town, and even to my children.... I'm the closest thing he can see, being held responsible for his actions....

Okay, weird collection of thoughts... but I can tell you something, it must be damned lonely being him.

[WCW]

It doesn't seem right that you've heard nothing yet. That stinks. Can you call your L?

Dick is a lonely man and not right with himself. He has to have people and control people to fill the emptiness he has on the inside. If you're the closest thing he can see then the best thing you can do is get out of his line of sight. You can be the mother of your kids but don't mother them thru this, they will learn the truth about Dick when the time is right and if it's not from you it will be better.

I hope you get good news today.

[Andabelle]

Thinking of you.

[Between Tears]

WCW,

Here it is Friday night, and I still haven't heard anything. Saw D on "My Space" and IM'd her, and she didn't respond. On her Blog, she stated she found her step siblings, which she hadn't seen in 10 years..... Who she "found" was her half sister and brother, who I'd been speaking to for a while now... all she did was find them on my "friends" list. I'm sure her Father knows now, and will destroy any connection we have made.

My D is not the same person, she doesn't respond to me, I feel she is totally under his "control" now, for she doesn't even speak to her own friends anymore, and even her friends have said she has changed, and feel pushed away.... Something Dick is very good at. Of course in the beginning of the summer, she asked her Dad if her boyfriend could come out for a visit, and replied "No". Dick didn't like him because this young man could see right through Dick, almost right away, and Dick didn't like it. It wasn't a few weeks later, she broke up with him.... after dating for well over a year.

Thanks for your thoughts.....

Andabelle, thank you too, it is very kind of you to stop by.

So far, even my attorney's office hasn't heard a word, so the Judge probably didn't even call, just tossed the paperwork out.

You know, it wasn't that long ago, when the kids were supposed to go with Dick's wife, a person they hadn't spent any time with, and ride with her, a person with such severe night blindness, that when she lived here, had to have her exs' drive the children to her house, because she couldn't drive after dark..... sorry, I digress, anyway, they were supposed to ride in a van with her 4 children, (again, my kids didn't know them) and ride from Kansas to California... for a Spring Break vacation. Dick knew full well, D wouldn't go with Jane... he knew about her phone call to D also.... this is how he works a situation.

I was supposed to meet Jane at the Police Station, and just drop off my kids to her. S, understood he needed to go, as it was a court order, but D even though she understood she had to go, didn't want to go with a woman who had told her she could wait to be her Mother, had been so worried about going, she stopped eating days before. When I arrived at the Station, S got out and went to the van, but D stayed in the car, saying no, she wasn't going. Thankfully, I had a called for a Police escort, mainly to document the truth, and he and I talk to D and explain to her it was a court order, and she needed to go. The Officer listened to D, and understood she was afraid. I got out of the car to lead her out of the car, and the Officer said, "No, you can't pull her out of the car, she needs to exit the vehicle on her own. I sat back down in the car. The Officer went to Jane and told her D was too fearful, and wasn't going to make this trip. He then turned to me, and told me to go home, which I did.

The very next morning I receive a call from an old attorney, who was screaming at me for speeding away with D, after dropping off S. He immediately resigned. The next thing I know, is I have a order for contempt.

I went to court, had to get a court ordered attorney. The Officer came with me, with the report in hand. Dick's Attorney was there too, and was very interested in this report. At this time she claimed a sped away with D. I looked at the Officer who motioned me to speak. I looked at the Judge, who then asked where my Attorney was, I told him he had resigned. The Judge said you need an attorney. I told him I had just paid the other Attorney and couldn't afford another one. The Judge then asked me if I'd like to go to jail? I said no, I do not want to go to jail. Then he said I would need a court appointed attorney, and needed to fill out the paperwork. The Judge picked out the Attorney, and said the case would be continued. The Officer looked at me, asked me why I didn't tell the Judge I didn't speed away. I told him I didn't know I could. In that moment, Dick's attorney snuggles up to the officer, plays with his name tag, and asks if she could read what he had in his hand. The Officer said it's public information, I don't see why not. She grabbed the paper and read it, and left taking the report with her. I went to the Police Station with the Officer to get another copy of the report, which I gave to this court appointed Attorney. The report explained everything the way it happened. At the Hearing, the story was retold by Dick's Attorney, as she said I had my ways to make my children listen, and that I should have been able to get D out fo the car. Next I knew, I was in contempt.

Now, here we have Dick, who gave D a new phone, with a new number, who didn't even make an attempt to call me, or anyone else, and kept D in California....

I file for contempt, and it's just blown off.

Can someone make sense of this for me, Please?

[job]

There is no rhyme or reason to your situation, but I do think your xh is a very dangerous man and will do just about anything to make you jump through hoops. My take is that he is still paying someone in your area to keep tabs on you and also the officials there are in his pocket. He's painted you as this awful woman he had to get away from. It doesn't matter that you are not. The more you try to defend yourself, the deeper the hole is getting.

I am going to go against a lot of wisdom here and advise you to lay low for a while. Do not contact your daughter...do what you can behind the scenes, but let the dust settle. Just like a mlcer, the more you try, the harder she's pulling away. Give her space, time and have faith that things will turn around. I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but she's got to learn to miss her family, friends, etc. and the only way to do that is sit quietly, do not contact her and be patient.

Your xh is a "N" personality and you know have read enough to know that when they feel threatened, they will go after you with every fiber of their being. He's doing that and will continue until he's completely destroyed you and your family. It's very important that you step back for just a little bit.

[Between Tears]

Ahh, Snodderly,

I wish you were here, so that you could explain this to my Attorneys. I once said to "Dad" attorney, Dick is still stalking me. He said "Oh, come on now, he's in California." I said "He doesn't need to be here in order to stalk me, he has his friend and his friend's son who are constantly watching me, and everything I do." He looked at me in disbelief.

Dick, with the court have convinced most that I am crazy.... even though I have 3 separate psychologists who will say otherwise. Laying low is the only thing I am doing, besides work, and I can't tell you how much I dislike this job. I'm almost at the point of moving to Florida. Had it not be for S's senior year, I'd be long gone by now.

Thank you for your input, for it's pretty much what I've been up to..... D is not the same, she has changed, but I understand why she has changed. She has dropped her friends here, along with not speaking to me and her brother. This is Dick's work, I know it, for he separates his "target" from those they love the most so he can freely take control of their life. Oh he is very smooth, she probably doesn't even realize what is going on, and soon the only people in her life, are the ones he personally hand picks. I saw it coming the day Dick told D that her "old" boyfriend couldn't go out for a week during the summer to visit her. Dick didn't like the boy, because the boy could see right straight through Dick, and Dick couldn't manipulate him in the least..... he would have also kept D from falling into his trance.

Well, I'm sure you are already aware of this, and understand it fully and why all of this is happening. I just wish you were here so you could explain it to others, especially the school principal, who looks at me with such disbelief.

[Creed]

I don't know what to say Laughing...other than I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

And remember, God always has the last word in things....not Dick or anyone else.

[Between Tears]

Hi Creed,

I wish God would speak up already!

I'm tired, and would like some say in my life. I'd like the kids to be happy, feeling secure, like they once did. It's been a hard road to travel, my shoes have worn out, and my heart aches for better days.