Sorry you are here. Glad you read the book. If you want reconciliation, I believe this is your best shot. Regardless what happens, these techniques will help you. Patience is a difficult but necessary piece to it. Esp. if it's mlc, you may be in for a long haul. You want some positive story, I will tell you that I was here in 04 when my m fell apart and I experienced some of the exact things you describe here. I did the classic everything wrong which resulted in h moving out of the house to pursue r with ow. I was referred to this site by by brother who credits what he learned here in restoring his m. I turned myself around and followed the db principles. My xh did want to reconcile eventually, but it was to late for me. I'll spare you the full details. But if you want to know can it work, yes. It can work. It's a difficult journey. There are ups and downs. Successes and failures. But it's really about you and improving yourself and your life. It's incredibly painful to deal with the consequence of your partners affair. Very few of these r with op survive. I heard only 3% are successful. Typically they may last 9-18 months. That is statistical information that does little to ease your suffering, but just know that the odds are against it succeeding. Now focus on yourself. Make a list of goals and 180's. Gal & pma are very important for your recovery. (get a life, and positive mental attitude.) There are a lot of smart, compassionate, and generous people here who are all passing through some verson of this terrible experience. You are in the right place for support and understanding. I bet some of them will start dropping by your thread with some pearls very soon. good luck
