Drew, I am sorry your S has to deal with this, and you, too.
I think I made the best possible decisions for my D of about the same age. I did not date. I have had her stay with babysitters, but for the most part, I tried to keep some focus on her. I think kids need to know that they are important to the adults in their lives and not feel as if they are not wanted. My STBXH still makes it clear that his work is most important things, followed by OW/OG.
STBXH did improve as a parent. Try to encourage parenting time if you can. That said, D is simply not his focus.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I have tried to encourage her to spend more time with our son. Unfortunately, the OM is just a tad more important at this moment.
During this situation, I am trying to keep him in a stable environment. I do not want to force her to spend time with our S if she doesn't want to. It's very obvious that she doesn't.
The sad part is that our S does not want to spend anytime with his mother. When he sees her pulling up the driveway, he says that he doesn't want to go with her.
I need to listen to his opinion or sooner or later he will resent me for allowing me to send him with her against his wishes. He knows that his mother doesn't want to spend much time with him. I know he's only 3, but he can smell the B.S. coming from his mom.
And she has also pushed my buttons when it dealt with our son. She knows that I am protecting his emotions. On a few occasions, she has done things to him that have made me upset. And she has gotten a laugh out of it at my expense.
