Putting Out the Fire with Gasoline...

[S.T. _I Made It!]

wow, that is nice to hear. nice to hear he asked about his D and he didn't try to start any fights.

and ya, OW is sure lucky.

[blindsided1]

still here. Loving every minute with my precious K. She is sooo much fun. We started swim lessons and she is doing well. We start Baby Boogie classes this weekend. Her Dad has her 3 of the 6 Sundays and he hasn't told me if he is going to take her to class (I hope he does) or if he just wants to bring her home early and I'll take her. I would like him to spend some time with her. He can find the time to take OW's kids to baseball 4 times a week. He should find the time to spend with his actual daughter. So, we'll see. OW seems almost inconsequential lately. Maybe I'm just finally healing. I spend more time lately crying about the pain. But, it's okay. I feel like I am finally letting it all go and getting it out of my system. I sure hope so. Hope everyone is doing great. xoxoxo

[Startingover2]

How fun! I love this stage the babies are in. We started a music class too but its during the week.

So glad you are healing. You have a great life ahead of you!

[blindsided1]

Okay ...did hell freeze over? Now, ExH calls me and asks me where K's swim lessons are because he wants to come tonight to watch??????????????WTH is going on? I didn't say anything. I just told him that he would enjoy it if he decided to and told him where and when they were. So, we'll see. I'll be posting tomorrow if he does come ...because then I will know that pigs do fly and hell HAS frozen over.

Hope everyone is well.

[blindsided1]

Oh well. Hell is still hot and pigs don't have wings. He never showed up to her swim class. I wondered how he was going to explain that to OW. ...."Hey, just gonna go hang out with my daughter and ex-wife...cool with that?" I think not.

He's in a bad mood again today. Spoke to him briefly. I didn't even bring up the swim class....ALL BUSINESS.

No skin off of my back. K would have been excited to see him, but I couldn't care less anymore whether he comes or not.

[Startingover2]

Its all about show. yeah, I imagine OW wouldn't have been too happy about that if she knew. Chances are he wouldn't have told her.

[blindsided1]

Need a little help today. ExH has been calling more than usual and "saying" he wants to come see K at swim practice...yada yada yada. So, Sunday, he brings her to her first tumbling/dance class. I meet them there because I wanted to be there for her first class. He lets me participate while he sits out. Well, a few minutes into class, I look over at him and he is going through my phone. I immediately rush over there and he asks me who my boyfriend is. I told him I didn't have a boyfriend and he shows me a text message conversation I had with a "person of interest" which is pretty flirtly & mentions the fact that we kissed. The he asks me who has been playing with K. What man has been playing with my daughter and spending time with her. He somehow has been looking at my FB page (probably through his brother since he is a friend of mine on there) and thinks that people are posting comments about someone spending time with K and I. This is so NOT the case. I have no boyfriend, no one is spending time doing stuff with K and I. But, he thinks there is and the look in his face almost looked like pain. It took me off guard and my eyes welled up. Luckily, at that point the teacher called me over. So, our converstation ended there. After class, he walked us to the car. Before he left, he asked me if I was going out of town over his birthday and wanted to remind me that he had K that weekend. I told him that I was aware of it and that I hadn't planned on taking with us. I'm going to Palm Springs with a girlfriend. But, I didn't tell him that.

So, here is where I need the help. Why did I get so upset that the prospect of me being with someone else, moving on with my life and building my own family, might have made him hurt a little. Why should I even care. I hate that I care. I hate that I still care whether or not HE hurts. He doesn't and didn't give a crap about how much I hurt for the last two years. So, why do I still care? And, to top it all off, I felt guilty about the texts. Like I shouldn't be flirting with someone else. Like I shouldn't be moving on. What the hell is going on with me? I have been doing really well and now I feel uneasy.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

because your a wonderful caring person. It's okay to feel that way, you wanted to save your M, your family, and I'm sure deep down you still wish it could be saved. I'm sure I would feel the same.

But your D is final now right? forgive me, I can't remember. So, IMHO, if a D is final, you shouldn't need to feel guilty for flirting.

Just get back to what you were doing and give yourself a break from him if you need to regain your composure again.

It is funny though how exh's is becoming more jealous.

oh, and about the swim lessons. perhaps he was mad at OW about not getting to go and that's why he was acting yucky... who knows. But it's nice to see him asking...it's still a step in a positive direction, even if he didn't show.

[Tomato]

hi blindy,

I have not been around for quite a while but I just thought that I would let you know that I still think about ya.

Just did a little catching up on your's and K's recent happenings. She is learning to swim ..sorta ..sounds neat.

Keep giving it over to our great and loving Lord.

peace.

Ted

[Startingover2]

Checking in with you!!! Hope you had a good weekend.