Thanks for that. Yes, my DD is only 4 but has the wisdom of a 40 year old. She is the reason I get up and breath in and out on some days. Today was the last day of a HUGE country fair that DD, H and I have gone to every year and today I took her alone. It was so hard to do and the first 10 minutes was almost more than I could bare. You look around and see all these people holding hands and kids on daddy's shoulders, etc. I just thought that I was like a blinking yellow sign that said "Marital crisis. Forcing myself to not to cry and have fun for DD's sake" But, I got her on a pony and then the next thing and the next thing and before ya know it, the day was over and I did what I thought I couldn't do and I did it for her.
I am one of those women who only ever wanted to be a mom. I waited until I was 39 to have her. She is my miracle baby. I have struggled with weight issues and have lost over 130 lbs int he past 4 years...with 62 left to go. I always wondered if she deserved to have a momma that couldn't run or pull her sled of a hill, etc. Well, this year I will be able to do all of that and I went on rides with her today and ran around like kid..and I did it with a broken heart just so that she could say that she went to the Big E like all the other kids in her class. I slayed personal dragons because of her today. I'm so proud of myself that no amount of rejection from H tonight can dampen my spirits. I was a mom that my daughter can be proud of have. I earned another notch on my mom belt today.
So, yes, she saves my life every day...in every way a person can be saved.
Thanks for the sweet response.
Gina B
M 43 H 34 D 4 H asked for D on 6/21/09:1st D mediation 7/27;D says he wants to try 8/18; *I will stumble, I will fall down but I will not be moved.(N.Grant)
