Thank you everyone for checking in on me, I'm just stumbling around, getting through the day, but not being very productive. Though I did de-clutter the kitchen for 15 minutes. I did write huge on my bathroom mirror with lipstick: I'm worth it. S7 said, if Daddy was here he would be mad at you for it. I just smiled.
Deb: You are right, I need to work on me, H isn't really the focus at this moment. He did call at lunch time to ask me to lunch, something he had not done for many months. I let the machine get it, I did not pick up.
Opt, I know it will get better, so many of you are examples of that on this board.
Manisha, of course you help. Just knowing you are here and you have survived something very similiar. He is to tell his parents tonight, I wonder how that went. You are right, the kids are secure in my love of them. They strive to please H and want his time. It is good that they love him and I hope I never do anything to try and get in the way of that. I know I need to take better care of myself. I have been eating candy bar after candy bar, Halloween treats are not good at this time. I plan to pack up the rest and give to the kids to take on their trip this weekend.
Sue, It is a whole new journey. One that will take time to get used to, I assume. I was cooking the kids their frozen dinner and sure enough there was the logo for H's company on teh box, and damn if that didn't have me burst out into tears. Been great the whole day, and then this one small thing.
Mockers, as always, thank you for your thoughts. I won't be in his line of fire anymore, he will have to find some other reason that he does not feel alive. I need to find out what I'm all about. Been too long.
