Girl, I know how you feel! Been there done that! When I read your post, all those ugly feelings came back!
But look at me, where I'm at! You can do this! Right now he is an alien! But, someday you H will return, he will be forever changed in some ways, but so will you! You will eventually see the "old" H.
Just have patience, It can happen. It's a long hard road, but you have all of us! We will help you through this, hold your hand. Change the parts of you that you don't like, keep the good parts. Only you can make you happy. Work on you, then you can move on to working on M.
Right now, you feel like we all felt. We can tell you, you will be OK no matter what!
