It's too hard sometimes

[TooLateForMe]

As mentioned in another thread I ran into W at a friend's party. I went with the best of intentions: to be friendly and warm to her. That's it. And I did a good job. I think.

W was very drunk. We went off and had a conversation about R. She claimed several times she was okay with the breakup. A few too many to make me believe that was the case. She stated she would never again be interested in my "type" again and that she signed up to an online dating service. She told me she was on a friend-date with the guy that she came with. But she rapidly broke down and started crying. I had to leave her there and get her friends to help her out. She stayed outside in the dark under a tree crying and drunk/sick for a while and then left. When she did she was red-eyed and looked a bit angry.

When I got home (at my sister's) I sent a text to let me know that she got home ok. No reply at all and I sent another text this afternoon. Her reply to that was "I made it home," then "And I'm okay." I was a bit put off by the terseness of the reply but let it go.

Earlier this morning I sent a letter stating that I understood what she was going through and would be supportive.

I think I'm tired of the pain and drama. I'm going to make an appoinment tomorrow for IC for depression and especially anxiety. I think I want to tell her I'm not interested in pursuing her at all, that I'm exhausted. She seems to have a lot of problems and I can't help her because she won't let me. I'll wait a couple of days before deciding on that, but I'm wearing thin and angry or sad or freaked out all the time. I need to let go.