My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

I guess I'm just a terrible person and I don't get it. It just breaks my heart.

What is this? Why are you a "terrible person" because you have feelings?? We all cam to this site heartbroken. Of course it hurts.

The illusion is that you have any control. You have to just go straight through it, no way around. Whether you D on paper or not, these things will challenge you.

Terrible person because I am so so angry and deeply sad and hurt and resentful at her for being with OM even though I left her first a year ago. Our marriage was so bad either of us could have walked away. Both of us were depressed and vulnerable. Either of us could have had an affair...but it was me. I never wanted things to end and I never pursued the D. In fact many of my things are still at our house. I feel like she could have at least divorced me if she was going to move forward with another relationship. Now I'm stuck trying to figure out how to DB which means not Divorce. But I just can't stand by and smile while she has another relationship and I pretend that there's hope. If I were a better person maybe I would be able to do it because this is all my fault.