I am so sorry you are struggling so much right now with this date looming over your head. It sounds like you are doing okay and certainly the best you can with what you have.
I am with you on the rejection thing. That is absolutely the one thing that sends me in the biggest tailspin any time I allow myself to think about it. The disbelief that he feels like all the years we have shared HAPPILY mean nothing, certainly not enough to try to "work" on things. My head knows he is going through turmoil and a crisis and that it really doesn't have so much to do with me as him, but my heart can't quite grasp that all the time. It is incredibly painful.
The fear of the unknown, what will happen, will our kids be okay is also he!!.
The thing is, your future to a big extent what YOU choose to make of it for you and the kids, with or without your H. And you can make it good!
