The EA/PA - Should LBS proactively address it?

[71potc]

You raise an excellent question "Why can't you just be still, and do nothing" especially since I really want our M/R to work out in the end. I guess it's because of all of the advice and guidance that have been on the Forums. Many of the tough love camp members all say to prepare for the D, and even Christine of Path Partners have advised me to force the choice on her now so that we can at least see where my W's head is really at.

The problem for me is that I haven't been able to detach as much asI would like because I also have codependency issues with my W. I am like the spouse of an alcoholic/addict. I make up excuses for her and I tolerate everything, even to the point of being emotionally abused, and I do this without even knowing that I do this! Some emotional detachment has worked, but it's also changed nothing with her EA.

My S21 and S17 have told me that she has been walking all over me. They have emotionally detached from her themselves already and call her an alien. They told me to "man-up" (today's generation for "stand up and be a man"). If I am to get better, I need time away fromm my W so that I can work on my issues and getting better.