Hi HBH. I thought this for a long time too. It's not true. You were thinking that your W would handle problems in a way that fell within the boundaries of your marriage vows. This is a reasonable thought and you want to give the one you love the benefit of the doubt. This is natural. So it turned out to be wrong, it does not make you an idiot. You made reasonable assumptions.
Don't dwell in the past, don't worry about the future. Right now, you need to concentrate on the present.
