A, Follow the advice of your lawyer and get the settlement in place first. It sounds to me like your h wants to meet up with you and go over what needs to be done in order to sell the house. Whatever you do, get a second opinion when it comes to home repairs. I most certainly won't take on the burden of all of the repairs. If you do not feel comfortable meeting up with him, suggest that he go out and walk the property and get back to you with suggestions. I would do the same if I were you.
Your h is dragging his feet because he truly doesn't know what he wants and yes, he's had you as the safety net for quite some time. He knows that once the divorce is finalized, he will have no excuses about being married and contact will be minimal, more so than now.
A, I understand how you feel about dreading the divorce, but once it's done, the weight will be lifted off your shoulders and you can begin planning out your future and if your h should wake up, you then can determine whether or not reconcillation is in the cards for the both of you. But, that's a long way off.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
