Well, H told the kids tonight. Didn't phase them at all. S4 said, I'll miss you Daddy. Then he told them all about his new house, there are bike paths and place for kickball, S7 was quite excited, Yeah, we get to go to Dad's house. Then H told them about the DC weekend and that they would go to Disney some time, just the three of them, S7 said, Yeah, no Mommy, just the 3 of us. His next comment was, "Good, more time with Dad." The kids are excited, they can't wait to see his new house and be rid of me. What's the point? Part of my main focus in all this was to do what was best for the kids, which seems to be being with thier father.
I don't know where to go from here. I had to leave the house, it was breaking my heart to see them so exuberant about Dad having a new home. I know they are kids, but it seems like a double whammy, I move all over the stupid country for H's careeer, thinking we were a partnership and I become a stay-at-home mom believing it is best for the kids, and they both don't give a sh!t.
I know, the separation could possibly do us good, but at this point, I just don't care. I don't want to go home, I don't want to go to friends (they are all married, don't want to barge in and be an emotional wreck, where can one go to completely lose it?)
I have a conference with S7 teacher in the morning, or I think I would take to the open road and not look back.
