Don't EVER let anyone make you feel that staying home, taking care of your children, was anything but a very selfless, positive, fruitful thing to do. No one knows your kids like you, and no one could take care of them like you could....only a mother knows best.
I'm not sure why she doesn't have an emergency hearing about custody. This power play your stbxh is making about snatching the kids away from you is not healthy for the kids. You need a SET schedule that he cannot deter from. You would be able to show that he is not actually with them, that he never USED to even WANT them, and so on and so forth.
And let me again say what a snake he is.....he kept pushing for public school......you see why now...less pay all around if this happened and just like your atty. said, because they are in public school, close to him, custody is now affected. He knew this. Do you believe public school is good for those kids so far? You said you would reevaluate after they were there awhile. Could you still homeschool them, or is that an impossibility now? Maybe it isn't in their best interest anymore...I don't know....
I know y'all. I think it's going to be ok. I told the kids we would talk about homeschooling vs. public school before the hearing, so I guess in November and that gives them 3 months to try it out. My guess would be D9 would want to stay in public school (she's my social butterfly) but I wouldn't agree to that most likely unless she got some special ed resources. My son may not want to stay at public school; don't know; he doesn't talk to anyone at the school, but he hasn't been bullied or made fun of as far as I know.
All the stuff about his prior lack of parenting with the kids and they're in the apt. alone will still be true Dec. 7th. My L also advises me to keep up the Tues. activities, and X is going to have to pick up the kids from the church if he wants them Tues. night. In order to do that he will need to leave an hour or so early from work every week, so I'm thinking that will cause problems for him.
I do know he's a snake, and his motives seem to be primarily self-motivated, but I think God always turns things to good in the end, so I believe things will work out ok eventually. The L said the new judge might be a better judge than the last one too, so that's some good news.
The play "Peter Pan" I'm doing crew work on is starting tonight; a lot of fun, great people, and lots of running around. I love to keep busy most of the time. One of the guys on the crew (married don't get excited) is my age and he is a lot like X, and explains stuff to me. He says he was like X 10 years ago before getting some wisdom. That X is screwing up and stuff and he thinks he'll realize it at some point...Well, just b/c my friend did, doesn't mean X will though. But it's interesting kind of hearing X's viewpoint through him.
Busy lately. They had the play twice yesterday so was there almost all day. Church today and luncheon and then we have matinee today.
X calls like once a year, and called last Friday at 6pm, didn't talk to S15 and D9 for about 20 seconds. I realized he was calling to check and see if I was taking her to art club which we normally go to b/c she was sick.
The last couple days I'm also getting passwords emailed to me from some of the learning sites I used with the kids when hsing. I guess he's trying to find out what we did on them, but the password gets emailed to me so he can't. I can't imagine spending a good part of your life snooping/spying on someone else.
Sounds as if he is getting a little desperate to me. I mean really what sort of Dad doesn't even understand the learning challenges his kids have? Seems like he is trying to find out so he won't look like such a sh!t!!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
X emails me today: Are you going to cooperate with the Tues. night kid transfer and drop them off halfway? His words, not mine. My position all along was it's too much extra driving/switching back and forth. My thoughts are either to keep ignoring his emails or should I email back if it's too much driving then I can keep them Tues. (which is what I would really prefer.) Thoughts?
I have a question: Is this exchange on Tuesday nights actually part of a fairly negotiated parenting agreement, whether tentative or final? Or is this just some demand your H is forcing upon you through guile and coercion, something you have yielded to in lieu of a definitive argument against, even though your gut feeling is telling you to say no -- but you're trying to be nice and keep the peace anyway?
See, Karen, your H is a bully and he is the sort who will use any means he thinks necessary to get what he wants. (I guess I don't have to tell you this.) If he is due the Tuesday Night thing, and you've agreed to it, other than being coerced into it, I would say that's one thing -- meaning you should honor that. But if he's just preying on your good will to finagle more legally-advantageous time with the kids, then it's time you tell him to back off.
I think a regular schedule is what is best for the kids. They have extra activities already scheduled and he wants to cut them short if necessary so he can get his way. I say you play hard ball, as I have suggested up to this point. Tell your L to do her job and call an emergency hearing so he can't do this crap anymore. Don't let him think he can do whatever he wants because he can bully you into it. That is exactly the message you are sending.
I am on your side. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
It never was agreed on my part, NC. You know the tactics X likes to use.
My L said if he doesn't allow me to take them to their Tues. activities then she would set an emergency hearing. The L said I shouldn't drop them off Tues. since I'm picking them up in his town for their activities, & I won't. That's probably going to cause him great problems at work taking off work an hour early every Tues. He might save a few hundred bucks a month maybe with this move, but to jeopardize his job? I think he is sounding a little desperate at this point the last couple days or so, b/c he's already taken off the last 3 weeks, and can't see him doing that much longer.
I'm thinking about just ignoring the endless emails re: Tues. I think the dozen replies I sent him in the past month about that should be enough...He just sends back some nasty reply, so why waste my time...
