My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[billclay18]

I wouldn't do anything right now. Her reaction to you mentioning a lawyer tells me she's not quite ready for that step.

Do you mean "not quite ready" from a DBing perspective? As in she may still change her mind? As in she's not level-headed enough to negotiate fairly?

Ready to get the D started. If she were, she would have already, she wouldn't care that you mentioned a lawyer.

Although the two of you talked about working out an agreement yourselves, you'd both be foolish not to consult lawyers before attempting to reach an agreement, so you doing so shouldn't have been met with such disdain.

I'm sure we would both consult during the process. Obviously it would be beneficial if we both consulted in advance with pro-marriage attorneys. I guess I'm not seeing your point in the statement above.

Consult a lawyer before, not during the process. Find out exactly what your rights are, what the statutes are in your state, etc. She should do the same.

You've been pursuing her like crazy for months and have only recently backed off and truly started DB'ing. Give her space and let it play out.

Two months ago I did a 180 and asked to reconcile. Have been pursuing with clearly demonstrated intent to move on for almost 1 of those months. No pursuit for approximately two weeks.

You asked her to reconcile in July and from what I read have pursued her continuously until just recently. I believe I read in one of your recent post you telling her you didn't want a D and still loved her. What do you call that?

If and when the time comes, I strongly advise you to let the lawyers handle it. Saves you additional emotional upheaval and I'd hate to see you agree to something out of guilt or ignorance to the system that screws you for years to come.

I realize the last thing you want to do is screw your W over and I'm not suggesting that, just don't screw yourself in an effort to "make things right". Nothing about this is right.

You've brought this up a few times so let me just clarify for you. I'm not going to screw myself or allow that to happen out of guilt or anything else. No need to worry about that.

Really? You already stated you give her twice what the state requires financially in your separation agreement, an agreement which often sets the precedent for the final agreement. Nope...no need to worry.

As far as waiting 8 months, my D took 29 months so you're just getting started.

Very, very little chance that either of us would let things go on that long. Dissolution start to finish can be completed in two months. I imagine worse case scenario to be w months with mediation.

Two months, unlikely unless you can both come to a fair, equitable agreement yourselves, which you won't unless one of you caves. You're already at odds over issues, which goes with the territory.

If it went 29 months it would be because I was fighting to get a fair settlement.

Isn't that the objective?