She doesn't acknowledge, accept, or trust my changes. I understand her hesitancy not to trust me...but I don't understand her motivation to go ahead and divorce me.
And if she goes through with this, you may never understand why she went forward with the D despite your changes. SHE may not understand.
This is the hard part. We can all come up with our respective explanations as to "WHY" but, sometimes, there may be no answer or no discernable answer.
Why seom seem to be able to trust changes in the LBS and some cannot is difficult to answer in each case.
I found peace when I realized that one of two things was going to happen in my M. W would either come back and we would make our M into a new M that is great and fulfiling and what a healthy R should be or she would D me. I don't know if you are religious, but I have found prayer and reconnecting with God absolutely critical through this he!!. I believe God has a plan for each of our lives. I don't believe God wants me to be alone and unhappy the rest of my life if my W D's me. Which means there is someone else out there who He knows needs me more than my W. Someone with whom I will find happiness like I have never known.
I have seen your posts where you said you did not think anyone else would want you. That's a battered self esteem talking, an emotion. I suspect you really don't believe that. It's just what you are "feeling" right now.
So, ask yourself what sort of person you have become. Have you made changes and improved your life, FOR YOU? Are you a person as Sandi has said "only a fool would leave/" If the answer is yes, I submit that there are tons of women out there who are looking for someone like that.
Realize you have a lot to offer someone. And don't give up just yet on your M. If you are done, no one would blame you. But YOU are the only one who can answer that. Now is not the time to throw everything out the window, unless you are ready to move on.
Prepare for what she says she will do. AND focus on rebuilding your self esteem.
I'm not saying you won't hurt or that the emotions you are feeling are invalid - you will hurt and your emoitons are completely valid. Just know to let the emotions run their course, then get to work on you, for your sake and your kids' father's sake.
