Over the Shock and GALing 6

[antlers]

Guys,

I whole heartedly agree with Greek. The shortcomings in the LBS helped create the problem the WAS believes is unfixable (maybe it is, maybe it isn't). So, the LBS has to make changes in areas they know they should.

Now, once the LBS makes those changes, the WAS may come back, may not.

But, and this is my original point, when the WAS says things like "you will never change," this seems to me to be emotionally based. Likely the result of a long time of frustration (valid or not). And it would seem it is common, some may say in the majority of cases, that the WAS refuses to acknowledge, accept or trust that those changes are for real while, at the same time, rush out the door. I understand the hesitancy not to trust the LBS, but I don't understand instances where the WAS is in a hurry to move to D.

I know that my shortcomings helped create, or even caused, the problems that we had. And I've done the work and made the changes. Not to get her back, but because those changes needed to be made.

I had hoped we could reconcile. She has taken that hope away from me.

She continues to say "you will never change", and the like. She has her own reasons for hanging onto that, and I don't know what they are. It's like she has to convince herself of that in order to justify the actions that she is taking. And I don't understand her decision to divorce.