Over the Shock and GALing 6

[antlers]

I understand where you're coming from Greek. It's a bit insulting to hear the substance of "WAWs must all be unhinged", repeatedly.

I think the goal of pointing out the WAWs less-than-stellar mental processes in cases like Thinker and Antlers is to warn that they seem to be (emotionally, if not logically) giving the adjudication on their worthiness as men/husbands/lovers into the hands of women who are not doing their most spectacular objective thinking (for what may be very valid reasons, but still).

It hurts me to see anyone abdicate authority over their own self-esteem. For emotional, empathic reasons, and also because I truly believe that any relationship NOT based on healthy self-love and self-acceptance is going to wind up twisted in all sorts of very subtle yet damaging ways (covert contracts, projection, etc.)

Like your sig line .... we're all muddling through this together.

When someone is very hurt, confused, lost, etc., they sometimes aren't able to think as rationally as they could if they weren't under such emotional stress. And making decisions while in this state of mind isn't always a good idea. I feel like she has made some bad decisions, in my opinion, under emotional duress. That's not to say that her feelings were not warranted...they were!

I agree with your statements regarding self-esteem and self-love. Unfortunately, those things take a real hit under these circumstances. Especially when one considers the mistakes that they've made that led up to the failure of the marriage.