My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

I wouldn't do anything right now. Her reaction to you mentioning a lawyer tells me she's not quite ready for that step.

Do you mean "not quite ready" from a DBing perspective? As in she may still change her mind? As in she's not level-headed enough to negotiate fairly?

Although the two of you talked about working out an agreement yourselves, you'd both be foolish not to consult lawyers before attempting to reach an agreement, so you doing so shouldn't have been met with such disdain.

I'm sure we would both consult during the process. Obviously it would be beneficial if we both consulted in advance with pro-marriage attorneys. I guess I'm not seeing your point in the statement above.

You've been pursuing her like crazy for months and have only recently backed off and truly started DB'ing. Give her space and let it play out.

Two months ago I did a 180 and asked to reconcile. Have been pursuing with clearly demonstrated intent to move on for almost 1 of those months. No pursuit for approximately two weeks.

If and when the time comes, I strongly advise you to let the lawyers handle it. Saves you additional emotional upheaval and I'd hate to see you agree to something out of guilt or ignorance to the system that screws you for years to come.

I realize the last thing you want to do is screw your W over and I'm not suggesting that, just don't screw yourself in an effort to "make things right". Nothing about this is right.

You've brought this up a few times so let me just clarify for you. I'm not going to screw myself or allow that to happen out of guilt or anything else. No need to worry about that.

As far as waiting 8 months, my D took 29 months so you're just getting started.

Very, very little chance that either of us would let things go on that long. Dissolution start to finish can be completed in two months. I imagine worse case scenario to be w months with mediation. If it went 29 months it would be because I was fighting to get a fair settlement.