Thank you for your "fresh eyes" on my situation and feedback. My emotions are all over the place these days with D-day approaching. H has clearly reached out to me as an anchor a handful of times in the past 4-6 weeks. For example, the day he spent 14 hours moving his mother to her new apartment 1 1/2 weeks ago (I and other friends offered to help, he had paid movers and declined help) he texted me at 10pm to tell me he was exhausted from the day and has e-mailed and asked to me visit his mother and vent to me about that situation and work stresses a number of times. Yet there continues to be something blocking forward movement. Jody (DB coach) and I haven't been able to figure out what it is since he has only had one 9 week relationship that ended 1 month ago. He DOES still seem pretty irritable/depressed. At this point that is the only explanation we've been able to come up with.
I just got home from an evening spent at the home of dear friends. They invited me for dinner, saying they were having a group of people over. When I got there it was only this couple and a single male colleague from work. I was a bit surprised at the arrangement because this couple doesn't know my D-day is approaching. They only know that I am separated. It was a nice evening, but it made me really sad. The evening just underscored for me how much I miss my H. My emotional response to this evening really surprised me and showed me that I am not as close to throwing in the towel as I thought I was.
