Over the Shock and GALing 6

[BigJohn]

Yep, I have. But it means nothing to her. "You are still the same manipulative person that you have always been. You haven't changed and you never will. It's all about you."
It's almost like she needs to keep herself convinced of that in order to justify her actions. It seems like she needs to keep hating me to make herself feel better about what she is doing.

Mine is more simple. She says she doesn't love me anymore, can't stand to be around me, doesn't believe or accept my changes (for her own reasons), and wants to go on with her life without me.

Antlers,

I was catching up on your thread and was sorry to see that your W filed for D. I hear the exact same stuff from my W. Like yours, my W also seems to be making a concerted effort to maintain a hatred for me and I've come to the same conclusion you have- it helps her feel "justified" and better about what she is doing. She does not like it when I am nice or considerate to her and never acknowledges anything nice that I do. Further, I've noticed that she seems to get annoyed whenever I'm looking particularly good- like in a suit and tie for church.

Another thing I recently called her on was her dependency on some of her friends and OM to help her find things to criticize me about. She actually searched the web until she found some crazy list about narcissists that she used as a basis to criticize me. My W seemed pretty excited about it. It was total baloney of course, which I also confirmed with my IC. It would all be such a joke if it wasn't so sad.

Hang in there. I know you are hurting, but you will get through this.