It's MY life now!!!........

[Silent Chrleader]

Got into a talk with my kids today about everything. It stemmed from S18 talking about interactions he's had with STBXH's GF. S18 gets along with her......but it really surprised and hurt me when S18 said that he thinks GF actually knows about the affair with secretary and in fact they have all "hung out" together! S18 said that H, GF, H's best friends and their wives (some of whom we were friends with for years), AND Secretary, and her BF (who H told me knows about their "one night" because Secretary told him when I pushed for the STD testing), have all gotten together socially....

I don't know how H can sit in room with GF, Secretary, and BF and feel OK with it. It floors me. I am feeling like the man I loved was truly nothing but a figment of my imagination. He never existed. He just faked it. He really never loved me. He can't have. I just don't think that someone can change their very values so drastically. He isn't and has never been the man I thought he was.

The glimpses I think I see of the beautiful soul I thought he was, are nothing but actions to salve his conscience, and trying to save face for his ego. He doesn't even really care about me at all I think.