I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree it is like the twilight zone. It's hard to make sense of what's happening.I also understand when it's hard to focus. Perhaps you can just take some time for yourself, take a walk, a nap, something. Seems like the more you are around W the more weird things seem.
Ever feel like you're going crazy? Living in the Twilight Zone?
Yes. Everything was very surreal for a while. But, you will come out of this before your W does. But that's really not the point.
Tristan is right. Go do something, anything. Maybe something you have been wanting to do for a while but haven't had time.
Understandably, you seem very focused on what she is thinking, why she is thinking, what she is doing. This WILL drive you crazy. You just have to let it go. In the end, what good is this going to do you? Nothing but downside. Easier said than done. But, it's the truth, and the way out of the state you're in right now.
Thanks guys. Something just hit me yesterday after we hugged and snuggled.
After my last post she came and founf me in the bedroom. She said something about me being distant and stood there quiet. She told me she was sorry. Sorry she didn't address things in our marriage in an effort to avoid the conflict too. I thanked her and told her I am sorry for my role as well, but pointed out that I think we have gotten a lot etter at communicating with eachother. She agreed and said there's still a long way to go (I'll try not to read too much into that).
I asked S about the movie. I think that W and I were more excited aout it than him so I did end up bailing out.
I've been at my G'ma's house working on it for the past couple of hours. (she's been moved to my Dad's house and she was a hoarder...the house is an unbelievable mess). It's a good place to get away.
Gima...you're right. I have been trying to mindread. She seems like she is hurting so much. I know I can't fix it, but I sure wish I could. She doesn't come off as angry any more. Just distant and sad. She just says she can't explain it. she wants to het to know the real her and follow her own path kind of stuf. She said she feels so guilty and still loves me.
Ì will get through the day but I'm kind of a mess right now. Somehow I find myself back at the stage where I want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
You just gotta stay busy and make it through today. None of us are promised tomorrow.
She probably is hurting. And she has to find her way out of that, alone. What you can do is heal yourself so if, and when, she comes out of the fog, you are in a much better place. If she doesn't come out soon enough, you are still in a better place.
I really think you have to be healthy before you can have a healthy R with another person.
Do things that boost your confidence. It WILL help you detach. It did for me.
Gima is correct. She is definitely hurting. And he is right, there is nothing you can do to fix it. It is all her. Your grandmas place seems to be a great place to go to get away. Decluttering can be helpful for your mind.
I would also suggest getting out with people. For me it was difficult for me to find people I was comfortable to talk with, especially before my W moved out. I didn't want people to know about our problems, in case things changed. However, I still went out and got around people. Festivals, church, bars, coffee shops, live bands, gym, ballgames all work for me. If you can go with friends that is better, but even if you go alone it will be helpful. Find something that you will enjoy doing. You will likely need to force yourself to go (you won't feel like going), but you will feel better after you get there.
Got home from G'ma's about 30 mins ago. Kissed on S7 and did bedtime routine. Took a quick shower and told her I was leaving again. (going to the bar with a friend)
She's p!ssed!
She made it ovious but didn't say anything. I asked and she said somethhing about me being gone so much lately. She heard herself and said that I haven't been letting her and S know when I'll be here or not. I told her she could have called my phone at anytime.
Off to the bar!
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Got home from G'ma's about 30 mins ago. Kissed on S7 and did bedtime routine. Took a quick shower and told her I was leaving again. (going to the bar with a friend)
She's p!ssed!
She made it ovious but didn't say anything. I asked and she said somethhing about me being gone so much lately. She heard herself and said that I haven't been letting her and S know when I'll be here or not. I told her she could have called my phone at anytime.
Off to the bar!
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Its OK she is pissed tonight. Watch her carefully over the next couple of days, see how she responds. Stay happy. Let her see that you will be OK without her. Also, make sure you don't short-change your son while you are gal'ing. Taking him out to a movie was a good idea. "Meatballs" was a movie that all 4 of us enjoyed if you are looking for one other than "Toy Story".
