Over the Shock and GALing 6

[antlers]

I understand my wife's point of view. I understand my wife feels the way she does.

I also understand GIMA's point of view. I understand he feels the way he does.

Sort yourself out on that one, though, b/c it matters how you go forward. Are you going to deal with your wife as if she is a person who is hurt, angry, confused, lost - whatever you understand about her particular sitch to be- and show her compassion? Or are you going to move forward dealing with her as somone who is in a temporary mental state that precludes her from making reasonable decisions whereby her decisions are made based on flawed or deficient mental capacity?

It's imporatant. Coach told me that the key to what he did to improve our
R while we were separated was to have and show compassion to me. Rather than say, "Wow - 'O' is really in a fog, not thinking straight, messed up, needs to snap out of this...", he proceeded with "Wow - "O" has reasons and feelings for what she says and does" and he based his moves on the latter.

You know more about this than me, that's for sure. I'm just chiming in as someone whose been on the other team. But I'm on your side, too

Go LSU.
Greek

Greek, I've dealt with her all along as if she is a person who is hurt, angry, confused, lost, etc. She was forced to walk on eggshells for many years. I've shown her compassion the entire separation. My intentions are to move forward dealing with her as I have done. I might add though that the way I've dealt with her all along has not reconciled our marriage, and it has not stopped her from filing for divorce, which she did do 2 days ago.

I agree that compassion is the best path to take. I know she has reasons and feelings for what she says and does. But, having compassion doesn't mean letting someone walk all over you.


I appreciate you for being here and responding. Your input is very valuable.