My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

Anyways, with that crazy rambling, this could be an opportunity. Maybe do some research into what the courts would do financially for you both with 50/50 child split. Show her how much different it's going to be when you governed by the courts as to what you and she will be obligated to be responsible for. Show her how tight things are going to continue to be. Not in a threatening kind of way, but use this as an opportunity for a reality check and the opportunity to show her you are looking at life with her as a divorced co-parenting unit......Confused?

I definitely see how this can be an eye opener for both the LBS or WAS, however the LBS can't show the WAS anything. It will be perceived as pressure, coercion, etc. This is a reality that must evolve on it's own. Unfortunately sometimes that doesn't happen until it's too late.

I agree that if she is in the mindset that I'm pursuing then she will perceive my actions as coercive. If she really gets that I'm moving on regardless then it may have some impact. There obviously a big risk in taking this approach. I have to be prepared to continue forward and end everything. I feel like I'm very close to being prepared to do that.

I'd be curious to know how all of you feel about timing. I left about a year ago. Its been a couple of months that she's had to process my desire to reconcile. I honestly can't see myself giving it another 8 months waiting to balance out the time (10 months me + 10 month her). BTW. if it matters. I actually thought both of us were not seeing anyone and working on ourselves prior to my finding out about OM. She really didn't know what I was doing and didn't ask.

If I chose to push for resolution now, am I not being smart? Not being fair? Am I being selfish? What would you do?