CTH here is truth the things in life that I thought made me happy don't really. So logically you need to find new things and keep living life. My question to people is why? I cost myself and my little girl a lot of happiness and love by not handling things right and not appreciating. I tried in the last month to be really true to my feelings with her and I made some head way. My goal was to be remembered well by her and her boys. I failed at that as well. I am amuch better man because of her but I am also very, very lost with out her. The day is not as fun, the tv shows I used to watch I don't care about. I know this is whining and not being a man but it is how I feel. I got the last of my stuff today and it devastated me. Ironically she accused be of being unfaithful this morning and I have not been. It is related to incident from over 2 and 1/2 years ago and before I was engaged to her and we moved into together. I had a family, I had a world with her, I had a life to be proud of. My mother was not only shocked but impressed with who I was and how I was with her. I was not perfect and to many times I wanted mofe of her. To many times I reacted to things with distnace out of fear of loss and the desire to see her want to be with me. Toward then I opened up more than I have with any other, I shared more, showed more and it was all to be remembered well. I lost all that in the incident this morning. I truly just want to go to sleep and have the pain stop.
